Learning Self-Compassion

Some days we can feel overwhelmed and stressed. This can result in us not showing ourselves enough compassion, which can make our moods worse. Usually, it is easier to show compassion for others than it is to show compassion for ourselves. Practicing self-compassion is an important skill to practice and can lead to a healthier mindset.

Self-compassion is when we treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding as we do other people. It’s about acknowledging our distress and responding to it with kindness and empathy instead of criticism, judgement, and negative comments. Self-compassion is about acknowledging that everyone has distressing experiences and that you are not alone in your battles. We can acknowledge this distress without avoiding or focusing too much on the experience and remind ourselves that distress is a normal human experience.

Self-Compassion Benefits:

1.     Reduces anxiety and stress through promoting a more positive self-talk.

2.     Increases resilience in overcoming challenges/hardships.

3.     Increases self-esteem/self-worth and life satisfaction.

4.     Fosters healthier connections with other people through empathy and compassion.

Tips for Practicing Self-Compassion:

-       If you are experiencing any negative self-talk, remind yourself that this is a moment of distress, and that emotional distress is a part of life. Remember to be kind to yourself as you would other people.

-       Reflect on the negative comments you are making. What are the words you are saying? Are there any recurring themes? Really understand what you are saying to yourself. Next, attempt to tell yourself you are going to try and be more compassionate and then reframe those comments into a more positive tone.

-       Replace negative comments about yourself with positive comments. When you face a challenge, instead of focusing on the hardship, try to remind yourself that everyone experiences challenges in life and these challenges lead to growth.

-       Reflect on the distress caused by the negative comments and reframe these comments. It may be helpful to think about how a friend, family member, partner may respond if you were talking to them about your experience.

-       Think about any negative experiences or thoughts during the day and write them down in a journal without forming judgments on the content. Write about how other people may share this same experience and provide kind/comforting words to yourself.

Remember when we are practicing self-compassion that it is important that we are friends to ourselves like we are to other people. It is also important to note that practicing self-compassion is a process and can take some time to successfully implement these practices. Self-compassion may feel uncomfortable at first, but it is important to practice over time to reduce distress.

 - Written by Dr. Sarah Muscolino